Also I saw then when i was "working" and "doing what i was told", I was supporting people I shouldn't have, not being responsible, buying things I didn't really need out of "convenience" and depression (from being a an angry oppressed slave). Encouraging others into the money debt pyramid scheme entrapment that serves only a few, and not even really the few. It doesn't actually support anyone since nobody can sustainably live off the suffering of others for long. "Death Culture" only shows what doesn't work so that we know what not to do. So therefore i stopped "working" and started full time on my life. Trusting that universe knows better, with a higher perspective. Bold moves, but it was do or die. I just wanted to invest in something that "worked" long term. I invested in myself instead of a money debt entrapment scam fraud pyramid scheme.
I'm not saying it's been easy but nothing is so fuck it. It's "interesting". I'm still alive somehow after 12 years of it. I don't have anything but exactly what i need when i need it, nothing more. The most important thing I have now is my "time". Which has turned into a constant NOW. I don't ever care about what time or day it is. I'm always doing what I like, so time isn't an issue anymore. The "problems" come from adjusting out of a death culture, and trying to explain it to people that don't understand my motivation. Who can't understand my motivation, cause if they did, would have to follow suit. Ability to respond/ response-ability. I'll die when I'm done, when it's over.
As I see it, this is a process everyone will go through. No escape. Nobody exempt. Yes I will have paved the way as so many others have before me (and after me). So it will be a little less bumpy. Also others are playing their roles of "denial" so that i can play this role of "waking up". But we all will find our own wild forests beyond each others "past". Exactly designed for what we need, by us, when we need it exactly. Interconnecting and perfectly horribly awesum. All this depending on when we are ready to leave the past, and the future, behind. Getting with the PRESENT. Planet Awesum.
"We are the musicmakers and we are the dreamers of the dreams".