Energy Vampires. Finding a Balance.

Psychological warfare this all is. Easy for sensitive, caring, compassionate humane freedom fighters to get caught up blaming themselves when the lobotomized world blames you for everything. So that they don't have to take any true responsibility over it. True responsibility now is to quit our "jobs" and start our lives. Be the change we wish to see. To not participate anymore in the death trap, knowing fully what it is and what it is doing to all of us. Coming at us from every angle these days. It's hard to know exactly what death culture is. Very manipulative and will come through anything and anybody at any given time. Im constantly discovering new aspects of it.

All I can say is believe in yourself and protect yourself energetically. If they don't try to understand you and don't want to know, you can't make them. Really difficult knowing you love everyone so much, also knowing they don't know what they are doing. They can't see the damage they are causing to themselves and others. Blinded. Just like we were at some point. Slowly waking up. I was never mean to people though ever. I couldn't be. It's getting a lot easier to say FUCK YOU to people now though cause i've realized it's the only language they understand. Jesus and buddha and all those dudes knew this as well. Jesus whipped motherfuckers out of the church. Buddha said oh hell no im not going to participate in death culture, I'd rather sit here and die. Then we he was fully "liberated", did he charge a single asshole? nope. Did any of these people start religions? nope.

So yeah it does get old being alone all the time. Constantly wondering, did i say the right thing the right way? We don't have to be perfect though which is another trap. We can mess up it's ok. We would still love others if they messed up. How long though, well first I'd say forever. But maybe we are disabling folks by that. It all sounds so harsh i hate it. I want to just love everyone all the time. Yes not fuck them. Respect appreciate enjoy grow. At this point I just have to stay back and keep working on myself. First getting the food and water thing down within myself (by not consuming it). I've come a long way in it already. Death culture is forcing us all to at this time. They will just use up all your energy and leave you dry with nothing. At this point It's better to be alone. Where we will get the most growth I've found. I know we all want community. A loving world community. I know we try to be patient and loving role models all of us on this path. I don't know the balance really in people. It's up to us on a personal level what to do. I've given people so many chances, to get just trapped in more lies and hate. I forgive them all, and stay away as much as possible even though they have me surrounded. Universe will take care of us regardless. Don't give time to worry and fear and become like them.

Meditation and fasting. Growing our own personal awareness. I believe in everyone. I'll keep "working" on convenient easy free technology to keep us all happy. And share this freely. I already live off basically nothing. I know nobody is going to buy my music ever. Why would they? death culture won't allow that, cause then death culture would be over. It's like people's art hanging in medical mafia buildings. Yeah they sold it, yeah it's in these assholes building that nobody can appreciate. Yeah the people that sold it have a little (fake) means to "live" off of now for a few days or so. All so bullshit and a trap. Which is why we just have to take the bold steps and say fuck all this shit now. I'll probably go back to trying to sell my music here and there, but it's EXPERIMENTAL, it's actually real and bold and creative. These things all illegal in a conformist, mono death culture. Who am i kidding. They want me to just work harder so that when i die of overwork, they can sell it and not pay me or my earth fam anything. All a trap. But then if i don't put a price on it, nobody values it. So i just say if you want it, steal it. It's ok by me. Or ask and I'll give it to you, if you are doing the same thing as me and facing these demons. I don't want my music selling advertisements ever. Yes my site has been doing it for a few weeks now. I say if you don't have adblock, your just an asshole. And yes there is no adblock on phones but the ads aren't as prevalent there. There will be adblock soon for mobile stuff.

What if nothing was true and it was just what we feel that mattered? We'd have to really understand how we feel and know it super well. How can we do this? I've found by really getting to know oneself. An honest, open, transparent, relationship with one-self. An open dialogue, where we actually listen and respond. Responding knowing what we thought worked before, fucking doesn't work now.

I say, "hey self how do you feel?" 
Self, "fucking shitty stop typing this shit you need to meditate. This body is too tense. If you keep this up you'll want to kill yourself/ numb yourself w some product or another. Finish this, it doesn't have to be perfect. Your bros aren't total idiots and won't condemn you if the pics aren't straight".
Me, "ok cool thanks".

That's how it goes kinda.. small voice. 
I know it's not popular to be alone. To trust how we really feel for real. Most people only do it by default. Narrow road. You will have not many friends and no girlfriends (for long) lol. Or if they're normal, they will probably hate you or think your weird, insane, fucked... (get off the computer this is getting stupider). But yeah, If that is how it needs to be for my ultimate growth. Awe-sum !! 

People are so mislead by who they think their friends are. All my life my best friends have always been music. I was programmed by all these people that didn't get payed anything, and who were trashed immediately. So I am the example of them now. My solutions are not just drugs. My solutions are the end of drugs on every level. Just me transparent 100% whatever it takes.

"Convenient, Easy, Free"

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