using / having lots of physical things is for dorks i guess. work sux. needing things sux. moving sometimes sux. having to do things when u dont want to, sux. ... loin clothes? jainism? what is extreme? it's all so muddy. all this "stuff" didn't work for long. wish it did. consuming more makes u numb. obviously it takes backbone to go without. and having things for the most part causes suffering on all levels. and all the cool people were like, see ya! nothing is going to save us.. i think we are all just trying to wear ourselves out. does anybody really know anything? can humans really contribute anything of value? don't really think so myself. why do we keep trying? are we just wearing ourselves out? is that the point?
hi world :) i have no idea, sorry. sooo, what's going on here? all i know is that i have been on the floor, all day and i feel a little cracked out cause i ate a bunch of chocolate chips and im going through a coffee phase that's about over with. it's a way beautiful night. full moon. cool breeze but not cold. crickets. hahahouse is fn amazing. so pretty everywhere. i been feeling super overwhelmed. really sick of phones. don't really want to do anything for anybody even more than ever. haven't i done enough? guess i have to draw the line. it's a matter of what i am comfortable with. im not very comfortable at all, almost ever. why?. sleep helps sometimes. another day of nothing. groundhog day. i don't really want to prove anything. i just want to be happy and at peace but not sedated or unconscious or treading on anyone else in any way. why do i keep doing all this stuff. it seems like im just wasting time. don't want to waste any time. i just want out. i am hoping to give up all this useless searching and pushing ideas on people that don't work. nobody cares. why do i? do i even? am i just taking a shit? im just like passing the time. i really wanna just sit and meditate with nothing. but it's tough. one day. then maybe this hell will pass? ambition sux. where does it come from? who does it serve? get me out of here! please! make it easy. make it fun. not traumatic, puleease. no more trauma. i've had enough of that stuff. shit sux.
... .aahhmm well, below is stuff from the videos things.. love without condition, trying to grasp this one.. been important lately. trying to love myself in all ways. even super anxious now form. hey super / supper / slipper / flipper. ..all right. buy bye. nnight :o Zzzz im trying to ease my way into nothing all the time, like literally, i guess? fuck
Hi andrew cauthen here. This is my hahahouse where i live. It's "paid" for. I made it in about a month-ish. I love it. I don't need more space. If i want more I go outside. It's insulated. Super cheap to heat/ cool (windows open in the shade for summer, passive solar heat sun for winter). It has a loft and lots of windows. I especially like the skylights (thanks kramer!). i have solar powered christmas lights that come on at night automatically. I salvaged most of the materials from trash at construction sites or wood I found around. I built this in an alley behind my friends house 98% by myself. I used mostly just a rechargeable drill/ circle saw. borrowed power to use them. I'm trying to graduate to just sleeping outside but this is good for now.
thanks to habitat for humanity "restore" for all the bargains and lowes/ home depot for helping me with the rest. I spent a little under $3000 I think. If I built another one it would be smaller, no loft, less well built (i work too hard, not good, this thing is a beast!). Srsly this thing could roll over many times n still be good. all screws. uhm well some of it was nail gun. super cross braced with metal. 19/32 plywood on outside under metal. tar papered and tyvek'd. corrugated metal w 100 year lifetime. screws siliconed. window bases are recycled signs, aluminum, and sloped. 13feet tall 6feet wide 10feet long. got the trailer for $850.
i live behind my friends house. He asked me. Everyone yelled at me. Everyone hated it just like everything i've done my whole life. But as i've seen with everything else i do, Im just way ahead of my time. We are living in the dark ages so hey what can u do? i do my best with what I've got.
Thanks to my grandma for dying so i'd have a reason to do this since i really enjoyed coming back to you. thanks to my girlfriend for leaving me so i'd have a good reason. uhmm, thanks to the current death culture for sucking so hard and not doing any of the work so I'd have no escape into vices and would just do it myself. thanks to the universe for giving me a place to put this monster.
the only way i get money is selling my food stamps to my mom (about $200 a month). I don't "work" anymore cause I stopped trying to conform, since i wasn't able to. the mark of the beast thing happend a long time ago. ur all slaves. all sell out posers. irresponsible lazy spineless goobers. I give everything away for free that i do/ volunteer cause i feel it's the most productive. even tho everyone else want's "$" or sufferage. I feel everyone is already good enough just being alive to deserve everything. WE WILL NOT PAY TO LIVE ON THE PLANET WE WERE BORN ON. This is our beautiful planet that we are a part of. If you are exploiting it you will be dealt with very soon. I am never trespassing. I don't believe in "private property". property is theft. theft is property. I also feel that if more people get into quality of life for all like myself, especially for themselves, they will venture down this same road of getting out of self destructive death culture. therefore i am here showing you one avenue, tho it's not an easy one! we have to do the work and there is no way out of that! the only way to make it easy for you is to know that it is all perfect and to trust and enjoy urself as much as u can remember. also you have to spend as much quality silent alone time with yourself as possible getting "stoked". don't vampire off others. don't be a leach. quit ur job and get a life! start ur life!! no more excuses.
enthusiasm, joy, honesty, awareness, integrity.
I want to thank also Jay Shafer at Tumbleweed House Company for all the pretty pictures. And tom for telling me about these tiny play houses that rule. thanks crimethinc and skateboarding and bikes and the color black for not showing the dirt and looking awesum and food stamps and waterproof bike bags and apple computers (even tho i can't wait to turn u into service for all instead of just the "rich", at least ur doing it the best u can for now). i know this house isn't the answer to everything but it kind of works for me. honestly i don't want anything that can break or be lost or cost money. im trying to quit everything.
thanks mom and george for being wage slave terrorists so as to give me the time to develop myself. thanks all the artists and musicians in the world for accepting and dealing with the worlds insanity.. showing them a brighter way to the awesum. thanks to the ego and terrorist dorks for putting the heat on, you posers, sucking satans cock. thanks to all the sell outs (probably you) for ruining everything and living off everyone else so that i could do it all for you. i hate you and i love you. more than that i just want to be done cause i'm sick of explaining myself to you dorks. "forgive them for they know not what they do". i can't wait for the drugs to stop working for us all. thank you. from one of the most amazing cosmic coffers that you have ever met. me :) now go do the work u dirty slut whores.
all business is the porn business. ur all whores, sucking and fucking gods gifts out of you for nothing. most of you all hate nature and life and yourselves and spend most of your time self destructing, or contributing to self destructive culture in one way or another. i want no part of it whatsoever. i am choosing what is best for all. what serves all. if you don't like it, well get to the point and die. i choose life as much as i am physically able bitches. you all killed jesus and all the other pro-awesum people. the wages of denying how you really feel/ doing what you love all the time, is death. jump the death cult ship now. it's not serving you. so stop. if something is obviously right, do it!!
thanks pro awesum people doing the work, following ur joy, doing what you love and nothing else, sharing everything cause you love everyone and ur intentions are planet awesum. thanks bashar. can't wait to see more of you pro awesum people in the soon now!!! fuck yeah!!! :) let the dead bury the dead. we are all children. worry is wasted thought. i love you all so much!
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