I dropped out
I'm not missing anything
There's no fun being had before, just endless grasping, going nowhere
I might sit by myself for three days or a week laying in bed, reading,
writing brainless shit on my iPod touch, staring at birds and
squirrels, listening to the rain, watching the seasons change, with no
phone/ facebook/ email not talking to anyone
I barely spend money and eat mostly fruits and sparingly
I get money from selling my food card benefits to my mom currently,
which is $200 a month.
I live in a tiny mobile "tumbleweed" house that I made to last
lifetimes w little or no maintenance. I made it mostly by myself and a
few tools with materials people had thrown out. Yet it's nicer and
better built than any billion dollar house. Plus it's paid for. I
can't store anything in it cause there's no room, on purpose. I don't
have a kitchen cause I don't want to have food lying around or to
clean up, on purpose. Plus I eat mostly raw fruits which don't need
refrigerators or utensils, plates, ovens, washing machines, I don't
even need water or a sink. Though I do have some jugs of water that I
get refilled down the street for $0.30 a gallon. I have the mobile house which is built on a trailer (check it here http://www.flickr.com/photos/andrewcauthen/sets/72157623267632282/ ) in a tiny
area in the corner of my friends backyard behind a tree. I don't have
electricity, by choice, but I do have warm blankets, a kerosene heater
that I dumpstered, some solar powered led Christmas light, passive
solar heat skylights, some books, incense, candles, plus tons of time
to ponder and detox death culture. I don't pay anything to live here,
but I do live the "dream" for a lot of people, setting a responsible,
livable, sustainable existence.
Im not perfect and make tons of mistakes, but I have nobody to blame
anymore but myself.
I don't care about exclusive sexual relationships with girls or guys
since I have the best relationship with myself.
I'm not even that much into sex anymore now that I don't eat so much
cooked/ junk food. I've realized that we only want to have sex when we
are dying, as an instinctive action to "spread ur seed". So yeah when
u exclusively go fruit and start the detox thing, u will have all that
life energy that was focused on sex, disease making, culture making,
denial making, to getting the fuck out of this hell hole making.
No matter how much money u make or accumulate, it'll never be enough. Nothing is ever good enough. U gotta draw the line somewhere. Might as well be at nothing. That way u have nothing to lose.
The only way out is in. No thing on the outside lasts. The only thing
that lasts is an internal perspective. Everything stems from our
internal perspective. We can broaden our internal perspective to
include everyone/ everything. Serving all as self. This is the win
win. This is what I've been looking for my whole life. I'm not there yet. I don't know where to go next. Im bored and tired of waiting. I don't want to spend my time killing myself, in denial with everyone else. I can't believe what I see anymore. I don't buy it. Never really did. Always thought it was bullshit. Being fearful makes people so pathetic. People act like they're so happy and easy going while getting destroying themselves with some poison or another. Letting go, of their life, at the designated times. Wasting their money, getting numb, destroying themselves, going nowhere, turning into a grandma/ grandpa way too early, thinking it's normal, talking about old times. UR NOT EVEN FUCKING OLD! STFU! Why do ppl buy it? How come more ppl aren't on strike? Is it not obvious? How much worse do u want it? U can't even get in ur car and take off anymore. Gas is like $3 a gallon again and going up everyday! Car insurance? Medical insurance? Rent? Gym costs? Hair care products? FUck off!!! How can u all think so lowly of urselves? how can u like what these dorks have to offer? it's so boring. Stop! Ok Start Now Anew. We r making it
all up. No-thing matters. Everything we see in the outside is just a
manifest thought from the inside. We r seeing/ interacting with ideas
on the made up plane of space time. All made up and meaningless. We
individually give it all the meaning it has. Without that it is
nothing and doesn't exist. Where do u put ur meaning? What r ur
priorities? What is ur system? Where did u get it from? Does it work
for everyone on every level? Is it free and simple?
I really like myself a lot and am super proud of where I've gotten
with everything. How I live syncs up to "what if everyone did what I
did" very nicely.
The most important thing for me currently is my space and quiet time.
I mostly stay away from people presently so as to stay away from what
I consider self destructive habits (they don't). I'm building up the
new world within me and it's still kind of fresh and young and
delicate. Not so ready and presentable fully for the current frequency
range. I can't depend on anyone else to help me and don't want to
burden anyone else with it either as best as I'm able. It's a personal
thing. I'm really just a junky and can't o.d. on worldly/ external
things anymore cause they don't last/ work for me any longer. I wish
they did last like before, but it's not that easy any longer. All my old happy flings
turned into death traps. Attachment. Abuse and violence only work for
so long. I had to make my selfish/ fascist/ terrorist programs that
were forced on me since birth, work on a broader spectrum to keep the
same "high". I pretty much have no highs anymore. I used it all up.
Too many "drugs", most ppl wouldn't even consider them drugs, they think food is good for them, they think it's ok to pay on the planet WE WERE BORN ON. WHat??! This is our planet! We belong here. We don't have to pay rent to live on our planet! WTF?! Fucking sellouts. Been there done that. Next. Bored. Can't escape into
ignorance any longer. Kind of sux :( painted myself into a corner. Now
I got to live with it. Nowhere left to hide for me. Soon this writing
thing will get old. Than I'll be kicked out of another seemingly safe
harbor. Nothing here works for long.
About being "social", If I do want to go out and play (my whole life
is play/ play is the new pay), I do it in ways that aren't based
around consumption. It will be skateboarding or riding bikes or
talking, walking, hanging in the park, swimming, working on some silly
freegan project or whatever. I don't go out to eat or drink with
people cause that would cause too much mutual tension. I have fun now
all the time, not just in designated times at special times like the
take pills die death culture. My fun isn't based as much on skull
fucking babies as it used to be (the current way for most still). My way is based on
responsibility/ mutual care. So stop bothering me and trying to make me feel bad please. Im just doing here what u r too scared too. U need to stick up for urself. Have some values. Do something with ur life other then skull fuck babies all day. It gets old. Maybe do it more so u can see that there could be more to life? We can live without taking advantage of the "weak". We can live in a way that benefits all, but first the drugs have to stop working. This is a junky culture. It's based on commerce. Drug commerce. Stimulants, Depressants, all toxic waste, every single choice that can be had, the books are cooked. We are in hell. Lets GTFO and stop being whores for a few clever but very low life white males who contrive it all. R u still in denial about what's going on here? Isn't it obvious by now?
I'm building the new social arena, the new frequency range, the new
community. Banksters (poverty creators) medical mafia (dis-ease
creators), governments (chaos creators), professionals (insufficiency
creators), police (corporate thugs), etc.. have no part of this new
earth. That frequency range is alienation, "alone with everybody",
being social in the current freq range (take pills die), is being
antisocial, psychotic, delusional, suicidal, schizophrenic, bipolar,
negative, depressed. The term take pills die seems negative to
sheeple. I'm not in denial and can't be anymore for long periods of
time like I used to so what I say will offend lots of ppl, since they
themselves are offensive to life and live w themselves through
displacement, shit flows downstream. Conformity in today's age is suicide. So they would say
u are when u show them what it is to not be suicidal. They will tell u
what they are. They will call u weird or abnormal cause that's why
they are. They will say ur insane, delusional, lazy, cause that's what
they are. They currently have the numbers. So until more of them
complete their programming (kill themselves), ull have to work alone
and keep ur distance as much as possible. Raising ur frequency, ur
light quotient, helps others. Go within, get comfortable with who u r,
bring it out with courage as much as u can handle. If ur truly
positive and current within, all ull get is insults and abuse until
culture catches up/ wakes up.
Most of my time spent is detoxing and building up the new world inside
me. Going within. Inner and outer house cleaning/ organizing.
U don't need insurance or a license with a bike or skateboard or
walking and u can fix them urselves. Bodies fix themselves naturally
for free if ur able to step out of the way of it and let it do it's
I like to wander around and watch things happen. Get out of the way
and appreciate to not depreciate ur investment. Invest in urself. Give
everything away for free wealthiest way to be. Hoarding's not rewarding. To save is to be half in the grave. Give it as soon as u get it to continue getting it. There is more where that came from. The law of abundance flows when it's allowed to. Ur choice to give is ur choice to live. Don't just survive, thrive! Being dependent on circumstances will make u a victim every time.
I don't make promises or need showy displays. I live it by life
example mainly. And the fruits of this tree are free for all cause
that's the way I'd like it. I'm glad all business is the death
business, cause I never liked it. Im glad buying is dying, cause going
into stores always felt uncomfortable. There is no love in the current
cult, just pre-fabricated need. A cancer. A relic. A scar. A wart. Fungus grows on dead things. The only gain we get out of it is
knowing this and dropping out, which really is dropping in to ur life,
out of ur death. No more living to die bullshit.
I don't make things too hard or complicated. I just do what works. I
spend my focus on what's in front of me not what's going to be in
front of me. If I take care of now, the past and future take care of
To keep clean shaven, get a disposable razor, 1,2,3 blade doesn't
matter. Ultralight. Rub it forward on ur pants 20 times before and
after u use it to resharpen the blade s. U could have one razor for
potentially 6 months or more. Keep the guard on the blade if u can
help it if it's in ur bag. Just shave in the bath or after being in
Don't use soap or deoderant or toothpaste or brush ur hair. Fix the
cause not the symptoms, Current culture is based on
counterproductivity, fixing symptoms (brutally), and endless
unnessecary busywork (u could just call it denial, or hell). So yeah
intead of cleaning the outside of ur body or covering it up with
scents, clean the inside so u won't smell in the first place, duuuhhh.
It's a process. I still like smuckers natural peanut butter and
ghiradelli semi sweet chocolate chips a lot. And I really like smoking
sometimes and in the past I've gone through phases where alcohol
seemed like a good idea. But it always slows me down, drains my energy
(I feel it like immediately), and robs me of the little loot I have.
Thank god for not having much money!!
What if ppl really enjoyed their jobs like they like to say they do
all the time? Shit, if they really don't mind than why do they mind
spending it or giving it to ppl who really need it? There's a few
exceptions of ppl that really do like their "work" but those ppl r just
help to entrap the other 99.9999% who hate it. To make them think
it'll all work out some day when it never ever ever will. At least not
Long. Also, nobody can truly be happy when other ppl are suffering. We are all suffering here. It's not working.
I'm not saying I'm happy all the time.
All my clothes are black (black doesnt show dirt and always looks
sharp) and I probably look pretty miserable often. Im not depressed, I really like black. Black is the womb of creation. Outer space, it's black! I like the contrast. It works. I feel empty. Im sensitive to everything. Its pressure on my brain. I gotta talk about it, get it out, work it out. I can't live a lie. Im not a good liar. Ppl aren't used to
expressing how they really feel so if u do, they'll get mad at u, try
to make u feel bad for it, cause they're scared and don't understand.
Forgive them for they know not what they do. But I understand where we
are on the "timeline" and that what I'm feeling/ experiencing is
part the process. I'm not so much in denial anymore. I'm not afraid
of it and can't be any more. I'm in acceptance. I bounce back to
denial here and there though. I'm feel everything i do and experience guilty/
remorse often for what I say here and to ppl. They dont understand. But it's the truth. This is who I am
at this point in time. I'm doing it cause it's therapeutic for me and
hoping that it'll help u feel more confident about urself. Somebody has got to break the ice, get the ball rolling. Plus it's kind of fun after all the clouds of despair and loneliness settle some. We are all
in this together. If more ppl came out of denial, it would be much
easier for us all. We are in srsly bad shape. It's like BAD, like
humans off the planet, total annhiliation. We all have cancer. We r
the cancer. I'm talking about the cure here. We don't want the cure.
Which makes me a terrorist. If ppl keep on we'll get where we're
headed. I don't want to go there. I choose life in a death culture.
I'm the nail head that sticks up that gets hammered in the ship that's
sinking, when really we should be building new ships. I'm building the
new ship. Destination home. Planet Awesum!!! Giant Party Everything Is Free And Everyone's Invited!!! Lets Do This Now! ..I wish I could do this now. I hate this place. Empty conversations. Corpses in coffins. Necrophilia is all it is nowadays. Having sex with the dead. This culture is in love with death. I don't blame them, but dang, there's other ways ppl. We can do this! We just have to practice loving ourselves. Sharing love, not just for a "job well done at the office"/ sucking satans cock, skull fucking the best, most innocent babies, but for standing up for what actually works. Mutual Care. Mutual Care. Love thy brother as thyself. We yearn to be loved. This is why we love animals. Not only cause we can be dominant, but because they are living in the now, in love, always ready to be awe-sum in every moment, and to share with anybody and everybody (unless they've been too traumatized by humans).
The thing is about change and embracing life, most ppl like their
suffering and there's nothing we can do about it but just offer the
kingdom persistently for whenever they're ready. To offer it In a way
fair, free, uncomplicated way. Like what I'm doing. I couldn't make it
much simpler. Everything I do is the answer, cause it's honest and
direct. The truth will set u free. I'm not playing games anymore. I
can't be too OCD about how simple it's presented, i try to make it perfect, but it gets
obsesive and unhealthy. i leave things unpolished cause if I didn't,
things would never get done. Plus I'm trying to make it convenient,
spontaneous, non-attachment, "there's more where that came from", to not
be too controlled, to leave room for the awesum to come through. We
currently think "products" r good only when ppl have suffered
tremendously over them. That's not setting a good example.
be fun and free. I believe what's really good doesnt take practices
other than the practice it takes to let go of the ideas of practice.
I'm setting a new unpuritan standard (it's nothing new). Working just to work doesn't
work. The new work looks like play. It doesn't take anything to get
there other than being present with what is. Easy does it. Play all
day, have fun u won, all one or none. The way to get shit done is to
not really do anything, it's to be everything all the time. Or be with
everything. SURF THE CROWD! "hey where u guys from?.. OUTER SPACE!!
(inner space)". Innernet is the new Internet. Freegan is the future.
being their own personal government, self development, self responsibility, evolution of self eventually is service to
all. Evolution of happiness is first giving urself
the space to grow urself, next natural step, sharing that freely to all who ask. We
r all mostly stuck in not giving ourselves the time and space to see
what we really are and loving that. We are told we are shit and stupid so as to not even try to see the awesum of us. We think we are nothing so we listen to complete losers who call themselves experts/ teachers/ professors/ professionals. We live through past abuse/ trauma. Not ever fully getting past it. Stuck in time. Beat down by bullies. We try to live other ppls
expectations of ourselves cause we've been programmer to hate
ourselves (so death culture can sell us products). The problem now is
u taking the reigns urself. Digging in. I'm here to ignite, inspire,
stoke!! I can only show u it's possible to live in an honest way. This
is just my way. There is no honest way to make money. Sorry! Face it.
If u believe there is any way to make money and not compromise urself
and values, ur lying to urself and everyone else. The only way out is
simplify, simplify, simplify, till u have nothing left to lose. And it
doesn't mean losing anything or being in poverty. It's a shedding of
excess weight. Dropping all the heavy bagging. No-thing will get us anywhere. It's an upgrade! We're only going to grow up if we stop
putting so much attention in a fake economy and more time into who we
are and why we came into this world. We need to all call in sick and not pay our mortgage and rent every again since it's all a scam. We've already payed for everything a million times over. Everything is already ours. It's a pyramid scheme, all of it. We have been lied to on every level. We believed the lie. Now is time to believe the truth. Lies don't work for long. Death gets old. Life is persistant. Love never ceases. We have to start being
transparent, honest, compassionate to ourselves and others. We do this
naturally when we spend time w ourselves, we gotta get to know
ourselves. We have to allow ourselves the time to get to know and love
who we really r. We r in the dark ages because we're strategically
stifled by a suicidal death culture. Survival and safety is already
guarranteed. We r being lied to on every level. U pretty much just
have to do the opposite of everything u hear from the lamestream if u
want to succeed. Accept this now or later. The truth isn't going away. The lies will. The truth is what works. The truth lead u here to lead u back home. U will be shedding lots of layers. Honor it.
I will hang out all the time again when I'm more centered in this new
frequency range I sent myself to this reality to broadcast. I go out
and hang from time to time when I'm feeling strong, to test my new
internal skills, or to slip up/ go backwards. I get ahead of myself.
Have to stay grounded, anchored, while being current within. Balance
infinite. I'm so glad more ppl r waking up out of self destruction/
suicide/ denial, but I still get really lonely and feel alienated often.
Reading things on the Internet on a blog or even in PDF form on ur
iPod/ iPhone or whatever is way better than a conventional book. First
thing is that it's digital so doesn't weigh anything. Blogs are pretty much freegan (use adblock, download here to get rid of the lamestream ads). Blogs/ the internet is ongoing and dynamic so as not to be overwhelming like a
book. It doesn't weigh anything other than the medium u have it on. U
can fit like a million ebooks in ur pocket and share them. U can get
wifi and download a million more or look at them or a blog on the web.
U don't have to go in crappy stores anymore and feel guilty or like u stole something when u leave empty handed. FUCK STORES! "Hey how's it going, welcome to...." "FUCK OFF! Don't talk to me u fucking sell out. Bitch u have no excuses. U sold ur soul and live off ur kids future. Get ur microchip and die quicker. Here, eat this dead mutilated ass raped chinese baby. Yeah u like that? of course u do zomby". ...ok, with digitalized media, pdf's/ mov/ mp3/ ogg/ flac/ theora/ u can share them with
everyone in the universe without losing anything/ degrading quality.
Start ur own blog on blogger now it's free http://blogger.com share
everything. Find stuff ur stoked on, Share it! Talk about something that has been bothering u. Draw some pictures and post them. Make it spontaneous and don't judge urself too hard. Don't erase things. Explore honesty. Get to know urself. Create. Channel
awesum. Sharing is caring. Contribute to the gift economy. Give with
no thought of recieving. Make the gift the recieving. Get paid now by
being in love, en-joy. No future. Spend it all as fast as u can. Leave
The more ppl accept reality, advance within, the less I'll seem weird
to ppl. Everyone does what I do eventually as long as I'm following
what works for all, union, unity consciousness, serving all as one
being/ myself. It's all one program, being completed from different
starting points. I'm ahead of my time because I'm basing myself more
within. Which is where everything comes from. The more I'm able to go
within, the faster this process will be, and the fresher I'll be.
External Material world is the leftovers, the real dumpster diving,
regurgitated regurgitation, old smelly piss. The party starts within. Letting go of
preconcieved ideas of reality that don't work anymore. Life begins at
the end of our comfort zone. All the current comfort zones aren't
really that comfortable anyhow. Breath to recieve. Innnn oooouuuut.
Iiiiiinnn oooouuut. Invisible air is where u get like 90% of ur nourishment, prolly more, until u fully live off awesum. Amazing!
Releasing fear. Releasing control. Surrendering to awesum. Plan-it awe-
sum. On planet awesum everyone is zero cause there is no need for age
anymore. Nobody is on a different level than anyone else in actual
reality. We made that up too. It gets sillier as we go. More and more
rediculous. U gotta b really grounded or it can carry u away. Mind is
a big place. A huge theater of nothing. Huge acid trip. A dream of
death. Fix everything and pop out by being here now with it, all of
it, as urself. Forgive it, love it, celebrate it. Practice the nothing
till it's second nature to derive from what's really alive. Ride out
the storm. Intention is key. Stand fast. U can do it. Uve already done
it. Feel complete now. Celebebrate completeness. Retire to planet
awesum. It's finally over and we all won.
Truth knows no time. It's timeless. U become timeless when u allow
urself the time, compassion, and forgiveness to ease into who u really
are. Ask and u shall recieve. Give to get. Seek and u shall find.
Surrender to the awesum, with stoke. Nothing in this world will
save u since it's based on a lie. The lie
that u r little and separated from everything. Let go let god. All
strength u might feel from society will be taken from u. To know what
really lasts, u gotta start actually doing something. Which again to
most looks like ur not doing anything.
The current regime is focused on making things complicated so as to
split us all up into specialized categories, fighting against each
other, going nowhere, living a lie, accomplishing nothing.
We are all
one big human family. We are made from the earth. All the animals and
trees are made from the same elements as us. What we do affects
everything all across the universe into infinity. This is reality. Yet on the surface
it doesn't look like much. u recognize it by recognizing beauty. U can
see beauty in everything when u understand why it's happening.
Everything is beautiful in it's own way. I'm talking here about
collapsing time cause I'm tired of groundhog day. I want out. To speed
up "time", spend time alone and write down ur thoughts/ reflect. When
ppl become more comfortable w reality and r able to detox the lies
out, we will be more just playing, creating, enjoying life all the no
time. We won't take all this so seriously, but not in a denial way. No not "aloof", not "poor me", "intimidator", "interrogator", ..no more control dramas. No more manipulation. Free it to be it.
Tension is death. All disease is from constipation or blockage, not
allowing things to be as they are. We're so backwards, we think things
getting back to the way they are, is us dying. It's like opposite day
everyday. We have to be open to the idea that we have no idea what's
going on here. We have to let go of the idea that we have to
manipulate, control our experience. More we we just have to become
aware of it. We treat others how we treat ourselves. No wo-man is an
island. It takes time to not need time anymore.
Life is simple and intelligent and convenient and playful and happy.
It's not expectant or dependant on anything, though it's an
inseperable, contributing part to every part of the whole. Life is
graceful, active, beautiful, creative,,,, naturally without any
contrived action. It's prefectly, ingeniously spontaneous.
The hardest part is detoxing the take pills die death culture for me.
It's a contant struggle. Mental physical emotional. We are all very
much serial junkies. We want pleasure but got it by going backwards
instead of forwards. We gotta pay our dues. The detox will probably
not seem worth it to u. Ull think about all the fun u had being
seemingly careless, killing/ numbing urself "acceptably" in ur former
life. U will try to go back, but with ur new understandings/
realizations, being slow and stupid just doesn't work anymore. Ur body
has had enough. Ignorance doesn't work anymore. Maybe ur tired of
being really sick, depressed, or mentally ill. Society is Suicide. Maybe ur tired of
running around in circles, thinking how awesome u r when really u were
getting raped on every level.
U have to know what ur up against and why. But u will be reminded
frequently whether u like it or not, if u truly want to be a creative
Choosing life is not a common or acceptable option in the current
dream of death. U will be met with lots of opposition. U r fighting
for ur life. And setting the stage for others which makes u a role
So yeah the simple life is hard work. U can't be lazy like everyone is
now who "works" all the time. It's not cool to be responsible right
now, but it will be when ppl reach the end of their ropes, open their
eyes, wake up.
U will get no credit for anything and most people will think ur
useless and lazy. Because T.P.D. is in such denial, such confusion,
anger, fear, hopelessness, ...when they see someone getting out of it,
they will want to stop u, so that they don't have to actually do
anything and can stay suicidal. Misery loves company!
When they see that ur continuing on the path out of careers, court
controlled relationships (marriage), corporate sponsored
encouragement, (out of self destruction and lies) ..then they will really turn up the heat or maybe even
join u. But they'll only join u if they can't kill u. U have no
control over the getting killed thing, that's all a devine intervention
thing. All u can really do is just be grateful for what u got, knowing
that u don't really know what's up or down since we have monkey minds.
So trusting what comes is perfect for us with gratitude and
surrendering to that. Not judging (hard!).
None of us really know what we are doing. We're kind of just goin
through the motions, asleep, carrot on a stick.
Most of us are here on earth still mainly cause we're too scared to go
all the way and kill ourselves in a more efficient manner, other than
the slow suicide that we're used to.
It's an adventure. U got to be selected before birth. It's not for
everyone. It'll prolly not be worth it for u. U should just keep ur
day job and continue living vicariously through others so u can
continue to get the support that u think u need to die with everyone else. Choosing life, when u
really do it, will seem like choosing death. Some people just don't
have a choice anymore. It's a transformation on every level to face the face. No rock will be
left unturned. Die before u die so u never die.
Planet Awesum! Giant Party Everything Is Free And Everyones Invited!